'Just something about his hair'

I read the other day that the actor, Billy Bob Thornton, has had phobias of many things over the years, including cutlery, antique furniture and … Disraeli’s hair: ‘I was watching some old movie once, and Benjamin Disraeli was a character in it. There was just something about his hair. There was something about the way it swept out to the side of his head – I couldn’t breathe too well.’

I find that both totally hilarious and utterly understandable. I may even have had my own Billy Bob moment, a few years ago on one of our day trips to London. We were walking down Kensington High Street at local election time when we suddenly noticed Michael Portillo bearing down on us with his entourage, political smile in place and gladhanding arm out ready to shake. My reaction surprised me then and I still wonder about it now – my instinctive response was to just get away, no consideration for appearances at all, and I literally ran away.

What was that all about? Those were the days when the press loved to vilify Portillo, before he made great PR efforts to appear a caring, sharing sort of chap. Maybe it was a kneejerk reaction to my indoctrination by the media. Maybe my mistrust of a politician out to win over the voters. Or maybe it was the shiny black quiff, still greasily serrated by the teeth of his comb.

Whatever the reason, I feel rather fond of Billy Bob for revealing his aversions. Unlike Hollywood stars, I’m far too greedy to feel any antipathy towards an instrument which helps me move food to my mouth, but I have sympathy with his feelings about antique furniture too. For me, it’s antique furniture in the collective – antique shops. I never go in them and just looking in the window can make me feel I’m brushing through dusty, sticky cobwebs and feeling the residue of long-gone, unhappy lives. But they don’t make me flee, the way Michael Portillo did.